Precious Things

I sat down in front of my computer all day long only for finishing this kinetic typography which is a assignment of my project. finally. I can post my project. I spent 2 days to create this video. struggling how to use the software. indeed. as this is my first time using this Adobe After Effects and it really gave me a HUGE effects. but, yeah. I'm very glad I could finish it even though this is just final draft :) seems I could destroy a big stone 50%.

fragile thing

I'm down down and feel like so sad being scold as a stupid. Sometimes, I just sick when my brother scold me as a stupid and the other 'stupid' words in Indonesian which I felt they are too rude to be said. I tried to not to cry because I know I'm such a fragile and easily become sad. but I always fail.


It's not such a first time he scold me. but yeah like often when I did something wrong. I know that he is not an evil brother, but I just don't like his attitude and scold 'stupid'. I just want him to know that everybody has feelings. they can feel sad about his words.


do you know about the experiment between good and bad words which sticked on the food? I remembered that experiment when somebody sticked good words and bad words in each food. As a result, the food with the good words still in good condition, however the food with the bad words become rotten and cannot be eaten. It means that praises can make people happy and be good in the future? When I knew about this kind f experiment, I felt like my parents should support and praise me even when I down, not scold me as all of them were my faults. well, I just believe those would happen in TV drama. 


But sometimes, I also think that praises might cause you too happy and you wouldn't survive if you faced such a big problem. and when somebody scold you, it makes you to do a lot better and you wouldn't dare to repeat the same mistakes.


Honestly, I don't like being scolded as stupid creature. I try to smile but always failing with tears. because I remembered Buddha's teaching about karma. If something bad or good happened to me, it means that's the result of my good or bad acts. and He always encouraged to not being angry if something bad happened to us, however keep smile that our bad karma has bloomed and we have to do good things again so we could receive the good result too. What you plant, those will be yours.


Yeah...I was scolded as a stupid again today. I feel sad. But, I've to practice more so I won't sad easily in the future but just happy that my bad karma has bloomed and blew away. I think I really need meditating to calm my feelings and thinkings. considering to my assignments? Oh ow!


So glad that I feel relieved after I write this blog. It's better than throw away my furnitures, haha.


alright, continue to my study.


benkyou benkyou! (study study!)

20 years and Girl's things

'My name is Metta. 20 years old. still ask my mom whether I could spend $20 for shopping'

That sentence was in my mind when I wanted to shop online. Before I started click 'BUY' button, I sent my mom a text message to her Singapore cellphone number as she is in Singapore right now. I asked her whether I could spend $20 for shopping. And she replied it really quick in 2 words which were 'That's Fine'. I was really happy.


For you, maybe I looked really childish girl who still cannot decide which is good or bad. what need to do or not to do. well....H*LL yeah! I'm not really good in deciding anything as my zodiac sign, which is Libra, loves the term of balance. and sometimes it bothers me a lot. 


I was staying in my friend's. she is younger than me but she is more stylish than me. I just love T-shirt with my jeans, on the other hand, she love to wear skirts, flower shirts, tank tops, etc. She told me to change my styles and be more stylish as the matter of fact boys really looked girl's appearance first rather than their attitude. and she emphasised that impression is important. 


Those words made me to think think and think. yeah, she's right. I'm not teens anymore. I have to dressed up and do make up which I realised that's the hardest part for me as I just remembered lipstick, foundation and blush on. I know mascara but I don't know how to use it. I'm really need help desperately.


I always do what my mom said (sometimes). when she told me not to do make up often, yeah I agree with her. I do what she said. you can see my desk now. I just have powder which useful to protect my skin from heat. and I just used it when Melbourne starts to burn. she also add that if I put make up too often, I wouldn't be a 'WOW' bride when I get married. because everybody have seen me with make up. also, I'm not confident with make up. because when I looked at the mirror after I put my make up. there are some words were flying in  my mind, 'Is that me? I looked weird' haha.


The other reasons why I didn't shop a lot because I don't have a job which lead me to have no money at all. All of my savings are belongs to my parents, that's why I asked my parents first before I started to buy something or afford anything, except for food. They let me to spend money for food, but no for shopping. maybe that's why God is not allowed me to have a job yet as I could spend a lot for shopping. 


I used to have a job and I was happy to the max. There are TONY BIANCO's shoes were flying in front of my eyes. Bags. Skirts. Make Ups. but then, my boss sold her business. poor me. I loose my job because I was still on trainee and the new owner perhaps might not to hire me which lead me to this moment. need a job desperately. and my online application always replied with 'Your Application is Unsuccessful'.


But, just for let you know, I have a plan to spend my first salary to buy a present for my mom. I've saved it and I've planned this since I got my first job.


I hope I could got a job so I could help my parents save more money for my education as the AUD rates is really high nowadays which made me really shock and wanted to have a job.


Thank's for reading.


by the way, happy easter everyone :D

 

we are fated

It has been more than a month if I'm not mistaken that I've lost my USB. It was so precious because that's my tool to save all of my projects since the other USB was not working well on mac. I know this USB was  given for free when I entered the college, so if it lost, I shouldn't be mad.

The day I lost this USB, I felt like I lost something. just felt like 'Geezz.....my USB." *sad, but then I'm pretty sure that if we are fated, we are gonna meet again someday and that was happening two days ago.

So, back then, I lost it in Officework South Yarra, but when I came back and asked the staff twice, they said that they didn't see my USB and they just had USB in their storage where their put customer's USB. Well......I just let it go at that time.

Two days ago, when I went to Officework South Yarra again, there was one staff just searched other customer's USB left storage, and that's it, I saw my USB with the piggy chains. OMG, lucky me. perhaps I felt lost because I lost the piggy chains as it was given by someone who had deep meaning to me. maybe that is the reason.

I'm happy I got my USB back. it is really helpful. hope I won't lose it again.

The red one with piggy chain. just love my USB.

I learned something from this incident that if we were fated to someone or things, somehow you will meet them and own that things AND you won't feel something has great meaning to you until you lose it even though you just lose a USB. 

officially GROWN UP!

It's been lately, but I don't want miss my special day that just happened once a year :)

Lets start from this midnight. so my brother had bought me a birthday cake which he couldn't hide it from me. so, I weren't allowed to open the box until midnight. then i didn't know that my families in Indo had already gathered and wanted to SKYPE me. then we webcam through SKYPE and my fam sang birthday song for me from indo. kinda funny, hahaXD

SKYPE-ing with siblings in Indonesia

me and my 20th birthday cake :)
thanks for my brother eeyo
I'm officially 20

my 20th birthday cake 

then, I went to small cafe on Lt.collins st called Laurent. the cake was very delicious. yeah, I chose chocolate cake. the taste was so great!

Me and my little folie cake

my little folie cake

iyo's christine cake

Calvin's cake

then, I went to Carlton hotel with my brother and his friend. That was the first time, I drank beer and honestly, I prefer hot chocolate or cappuccino or water better than beer. everybody said that it's sweet, but i couldn't taste it. finally, i couldn't finish a quarter of the beer or even less than that. it taste like plain on my tongue. then, I ate $14 steak. quite salty but it's good :) then we just chatting around talking about 'The Ugly truth' hahaXD

And finally, I was exhausted. but I'm glad I still can have birthday, but my life is going harder than the past. maybe just faced them. i could inherit those experiences to my children perhaps like Ted Mosby did in 'How I met Your Mother'

cheers. have a good day.

Last teenager day

Being grown up was the most excited moment that I faced when I was a little. It seemed that I become taller, bigger, can try something new and have birthday party, also got a lots of presents as well. PRESENTS! the most I expected on my day. while I writing this blog, my mind just flashback to 19 parties that I've been through. I didn't remembered my first to fourth birthday party, but I remembered when I had the fifth, it was celebrated in my kindergarten school. It was so excited to have a party with my peers. the more of them, the more I got the presents :D

yeah, it seemed I always celebrated my first to twelfth with my families around me. Start the thirteenth, when my teenager life began, I started to have birthday dinner with my friends. so excited at that time coz it was my first time I could go hang out with them. and so continue until my sweet seventeen. of course I still remembered those moments. being 17 was great, I got ID card and could drive as well even I didn't want to because I've hit a big container while I was practicing in the past. My sweet seventeen was a blast for me. I dressed up like a princess with blue dress that i worn. blue, my favourite colour. however, i didn't satisfy with my make-up. I prefer my mom do make up on me rather than the salon did.

my journey become teenager still going. I felt like even I was older than my peers, it seemed that they were older than me. they can do make up by them self, so different with me. i just knew foundation and lipstick. yeah...it also because I don't like make-up yet at the moment. I don't know why, but I felt strange when I saw myself on mirror with make up. I like the natural me, however I don't like my natural hair which looked like LION HAIR. my siblings always teased me 'LION HAIR' because of my thick and curly hair (I do bonding now). just let them know that I'll praise my thick hair when we are old in the future  and see who is the baldy one? haha

Being eighteen, just have a small dinner party with 2 friends and 1 new friend because I just fought with the two others. that's why we still friends till now even sometimes I felt like they are not the 'FRIENDS' who I'm looking for. like in high-school, i felt they were never looking for me when we were in different class. they just looking for me if they need me. like now, they have never asked my news or post something on my FB wall. maybe they'll post something tomorrow on my wall just to say 'Happy birthday, Metta! wish u all the best' thats all. seemed like I was the one who really sad. But, I won't it bother me. If they didn't want to say hi to me, I'll say hi to them first. or I could find someone else.

Nineteenth, the happiest moment. I just got a birthday surprise from my classmates in college. It really surprised that we just knew each other for a week then they gave me a birthday surprise. I was thinking 'what my best friend did on my birthday back then?' just gave me a present. kinda happy at the moment.

I've been worried since last 3months. OMG, I'll be twenty soon. it was different when I was in the past. it seemed like this, "Yey! I'll be fifteen next month". and, I almost didn't like being a child at the moment, but now, i really want to return to those moments. yeah yeah, if i could turned back the time.

Well....my teen journey will ended up soon in around 5 hours (Australia time) and welcome you, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty and so on. in my twenty journey, i hope that my parents will treat me like an adult and also i hope i would have more confidence to choose my own path. mostly, i should be more like an adult than a child. most of all, I wish i could be the better person than the past.

Rest in Peace, Sapi

Hi, all..

Today is the saddest day for me. I had a dog in my hometown. His name is sapi. Sapi in Indonesia means cow. I named it for him because he has many black dots like a cow, but he is not like a dalmatian. And, he is gone forever today. I just knew it from twitter. My sister mentioned me and said Sapi is gone forever. I was totally sad and had a little cried for him.

I was there and very excited when Sapi was born. And I was the first one who named him. He is the happiest dog that I have ever knew. Even he had a problem with his two back legs which he can't be like other normal dogs. He just happy and play with his only friend, Whisky (my other dog). Sometimes, he was really annoying to me with his barking. but I just love him. I love him so much. Today, when I read the news from twitter, I felt like kinda broke up with my boyfriend, even it worse. I lost something. It's really true that we wouldn't know how much we loved something or someone until we lost it/him/her.

My brother in Melbourne who is living with me now, posted on his Facebook,

RIP "Sapi".. Dont worry bout the pain.. U can sleep tight now.. We'll miss u.. T_T

My sister also posted on her FB,

he smiled at me before his death, rest in peace my lovely dog ,thanks for the joys we have shared :')

My mom commented my brother's post and told us that before Sapi's death, he shook his tail every time and looked to my mom and my sis. And, he barked as he called everybody to come around him so he could say goodbye. After I read my mother's comments, I cried while I typing this new post. 

Sapi, I'm so sorry if I couldn't make u happy while u lived in this world. Hope you rest in peace and thank you for coming to my life and the joys we shared.